an expert’s guide to ghosting

Dedicated to baesauce

[goh-sting]

In a perfect world, the metaphorical, ‘apple-of-your-eye’, is to be obtained immediately and thus the fairytale continues until death. Likewise, the text message conversation lasts until the sun-sets and a perfectly written goodnight ends the playful and reciprocal exchange. Additionally, the guest arrives and leaves ones soiree in the appropriate time allotted with simple and sincere greetings and goodbyes.

In a perfect world.

 In the real world, things tend to play out differently. A cynic will often tell you that optimistic expectations are moronic and ill-fated, but one could experience such a reality, so let’s stay open-minded. The main gripe with expectations is that they harbor ‘rules’ and ‘laws’.  Mostly dreaded words in the minds of the ambitious, sovereign bloke.  Why? Why do expectations create a fictional ‘jail cell’ in our minds?

PRESSURE.

This emotion is quite unpleasant for most and thus, often avoided.

 Think for a moment about the word FREEDOM. Just by uttering it, you may sense a sigh of relief, relaxation, calm, limitless bounds of enjoyment, prosperity and enrichment. For some, freedom can be from taxation, long work days, tyrants, oppression, boring conversations, relationships, unwanted social gatherings or interactions and much, much more. Which brings us to

GHOSTING.

 

The very first thing to remember when wanting to learn how to ghost is to…

STOP FEELING PITY.

 Honestly, the projection of pity holds you back from true intentions or motivations. You want to be a ‘good’ person, right? You want to be the one people can rely on? You want your friends and family to think you are righteous, trustworthy and authentic, right?

So why are you lying to them?

‘SURE, KAREN I CAN’T WAIT TO COME TO YOUR DOG’S BIRTHDAY BRUNCH!!’

 

‘DUDE, THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH CLUB-HOPING IN OUR 40S, WE CAN RELATE AND HAVE A BLAST!!’

 

‘HONESTLY, I WISH THIS OVER-CROWDED HOUSE PARTY COULD LAST LONGER, THERE ISN’T ENOUGH TIME TO HAVE THE SAME CONVERSATION WITH EVERYONE!’

Ghosting is like being brutally honest.  Sure, sometimes it can hurt those that you are disappearing-on, but expectations only lead to someone being hurt, regardless;

you or them.

You choose.

-domrella