Night Terrors

Let me show you around,

nothing is here forever except the moon and the ground,

the similarities between the two are astounding,

and the light shine is quite profound.

Trying to live in eternal bliss,

I turn a blind eye and pretend things go unnoticed,

fully aware of those joyous moments,

I wait on the otherside of mystique.

Full of wonder that powers me forward on this journey,

I’m intrigued by the magic life brings before the panic,

A deep intentional breath is what I need to not go manic,

and to understand the world's gravity.

Ego can chew me up and spit me out,

make me wave the white towel and head out,

Shit,

even make a dreamers reality become bleak and not tough it out.

But there was something I was taught in that hospital bed,

100 grams of steroids,

fucking left for dead,

couldn’t speak,

Family struck,

Feeling weak,

while I just want to get out,

i’m forced back.

19 years old never felt so cold,

everyone partying and I'm forced to stay home,

pictures of peers getting wasted while I'm going through my phone,

and justifying that my brain trauma is the reason I'm alone.

Doctors telling me it's my mental state,

judging me as if I'm some metal case,

loss of all executive functions would have anyone fearing their fate,

it’s all bullshit,

paid thousands of dollars a year to go home on the weekend,

give me my fucking meds and I'll get myself on the mend.

But that hospital bed taught me one thing,

it gave me time to ponder,

life's qualms are only a worried breath away,

so I wonder,

what's next on the agenda for today?